November 19, 2010

• The Giving Fairy

  The Giving Fairy has been incredibly helpful for us! We have a ton of clutter in our home.  My son is in a hoarding phase and doesn’t want to give *anything* up.  (Seriously, last night he blew hugs and kisses good bye to the few bites of food he had left over from dinner.)  He’s 4, and we’ve been struggling with getting him to pick up after himself.  We’ve jokingly talked about the cleaning fairy (that never seems to come).  I’ve threatened before to take his toys away, but I didn’t like the power-over paradigm of that.  It was important to me for him to willingly take care of his toys, AND for him to willingly let go of them when the time comes.  I don’t like taking toys away behind their back.  (With the exception of cheap McDonald’s toys.  Although I’ve gotten to the point that many times we just don’t get the happy meal rather than deal with getting rid of a toy that I really don’t approve of to begin with.)

  Anyway, I sat down and had a quick family chat. (I knew Dad would approve, but it was important for him to be on the same page!)  I told them that I finally got visited by the cleaning fairy last night.  The cleaning fairy said that HE hadn’t cleaned because I was mistaken as to what he does. (For me it was important for this fairy to be male, since I was wanting a male role model of giving things away.) He doesn’t really clean.  He loves people so much, that he keeps an eye out for toys and clothes that children no longer use, and gives them to other children that would love them just as much as we do.  How does he know which toys and clothes are ready to be given a new home?  Why the toys that are left out, of course!  If it’s taken care of and put where it belongs, the giving fairy knows that we still love the toy and aren’t ready for another loving child to have it yet.  But if a toy is left out, the giving fairy is ecstatic to be able to give a toy a new loving home! 

  Since The Giving Fairy came to our home a couple of weeks ago, we have a new house.  I don’t have to threaten to get things picked up.  All I do is politely ask if he’s leaving a toy for The Giving Fairy, and he promptly puts it up.  Sometimes he needs gentle reminders that he has a lot of toys out and may run out of time to get them all picked up before bed.  I remind him that The Giving Fairy would be so sad if he took something by mistake, because he loves the children so much and wants everyone to enjoy their toys. Sometimes Julian will even pick up Kaya’s toys, since he often plays with them too. (She’s only 1, a little beyond this concept I believe.)   I have hope that someday he will intentionally leave something for The Giving Fairy to give to someone else, when he’s ready to let it go.  I feel that this is a gentler way rather than nagging or yelling, and it has worked so well for our family.  I’m passing the idea on to hopefully work for yours!

  • 10:31 AM
  • 3 Comments