January 12, 2010

• From Mupfeloma

  I got this from the national ICAN list. 

  
  

  The medical progress in a hundred years?

  Before the planned conception Sarah was very nervous, even scared. Every friend and also her mother and aunt have told her the most horrific stories about it.  But a woman must go through that if she wants to have a child. She'll manage somehow.

  It started with all the necessary medical checkups. But there is no way to avoid those as so many terrible things could happen: STDs, unpunctual ovulation (everything would have been for nothing then), erectile dysfunction, some people even had a heart attack while having intercourse. So it's better to get everything thoroughly checked.

  Finally the long awaited day came and Sarah was very excited. Her suitcase has already been packed a long time ago. One day she was informed from her conception doctor, that she would ovulate today and everything was ready at the clinic.

  Together with her loved one she shakily drove to the clinic. While checking in, all documents were verified, they signed all papers regarding the risks of procreation and got assigned to a procreation room. There an procreation assistant already awaited them and told them to take off their clothes. They were hooked on to the equipment. Heart rate, blood pressure, status of vaginal moisture and progress of erection were transferred to the screens right next to the bed.

  The procreation assistant was very sensitive. Mildly smiling, she told them that they could start stimulating each other now. She even put on a CD of their favorite music. At first, everything progressed slowly, but then, as the assistant just did a vaginal check up to see how Sarah was progressing, Sarah's boyfriend had an imminent flaccidity. The assistant immediately called a procreation specialist for help, who gave the poor man an infusion with erection supporting medication. Sarah was relieved. Without this intervention something worse might have happened. The assistant soothed her. Now theycould continue.

  With the encouraging shouts from the assistant ("Faster,. yes, like that. a little deeper.!") successfully a child was conceived - proof of their love! Yes it was painful and very uncomfortable, but all this was forgotten when Sarah finally had a positive pregnancy test in her hands. She's very proud that everything went naturally. Many couples have to conceive under anesthesia because there so scared of the act of procreation. Although there are still about 2% crazy nature freaks who conceive their child at home in their own bed. How irresponsible!

  Sarah was too afraid of that! She herself experienced how important it was to have medical personnel and drugs at hand. Some of these hippies even tell of orgasmic experiences through intercourse. But who knows, they probably just want to make it sound better than it actually was.  Such glorification of sex is just irresponsible campaigning! They think that they are something better, because there child was conceived between their own dirty sheets without medical intervention and sometimes even without any prior checkups. Alone the mess in the own bedroom. no, Sarah would never get such silly ideas. In the hospital it's clean and sterile. You are monitored 100% of the time and in case of need you can get a PDA or even a general anesthetic if you can't cope with the pain.

  Just to be safe.

  (Written by a woman from Germany who got her - right now heavily pregnant - daughter at home and who assists her in every way to do the same. She just mentioned dryly that she read somewhere that we should birth our children as we conceive them and she thought how it would be if we would conceive them how we birth them right now.).

  • 4:15 PM
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